No One Will Manage Your Career for You (and That’s a Good Thing)

I was a few years into my career when the project manager on one of our biggest clients left the company.

At the time, I was the actuarial analyst on the account. I knew the financials inside and out, had good relationships with the client team, and had been steadily building trust behind the scenes. But I wasn’t the project manager. I was purely the numbers person.

So when the role opened up, I waited about… a day. Then I walked into my boss’s office and asked, “Do you have someone in mind to take on that role?”

He said no. He hadn’t had a chance to think about it yet.

I said, “I’d like the opportunity.”

He paused—thought about it—and said, “I hadn't thought about that, but actually, that’s a great idea.”

And just like that, I stepped into a bigger role. And it changed the course of my career.

Not necessarily because of the opportunity itself; it was an amazing learning experience. But because of what I learned from this experience.

It wasn’t that my boss didn’t believe in me. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to support my growth. But he was busy. He had multiple clients and team members to manage. And like most leaders, he wasn’t constantly thinking about how to help me grow. That part? Was on me.

It’s easy to assume that if you work hard and do a great job, someone will notice. Sometimes they do. But more often, they’re juggling too much to connect the dots. And if you don’t raise your hand, the opportunity might pass you by before anyone even thinks to offer it.

Taking on that project manager role gave me a front-row seat to every part of the client relationship—strategy, communication, presentation prep, exposure to executive leadership. I eventually became the lead on that account, and I got to stretch in ways I wouldn’t have if I’d stayed quietly in my lane—and that stretch became a launchpad.

That moment taught me one of the most important lessons of my career: you have to advocate for yourself. Even the best, most well-intentioned bosses aren’t mind readers. They may be fully supportive of your growth—but they might not think to push you forward unless you do.

And for many of us—especially women—that kind of self-advocacy can feel uncomfortable. We’re often taught to be team players, to wait our turn, to not ask for too much. But the truth is: no one will manage your career for you. That’s not a flaw in the system—it’s a reminder that we have agency.

So how do you start?

You don’t have to make a dramatic leap. In fact, the best self-advocacy often looks like this:

• Look for gaps before you’re asked. See something that needs doing and think, “Why not me?”

• Start the conversation. Let your manager know what you’re curious about or ready to try—whether it's a small step or giant leap.

• Keep a list of your wins. Not to brag—but so you’re ready when the moment comes to make your case.

Your career is yours to lead.

You get to choose.

You get to grow.

You just have to speak up.