“Get Out of the Trunk of the Car”: How to Build Confidence at Work (Even If You’re Quiet)

In 10th grade I had to give a speech in front of my class. I don’t remember what the speech was about. I do remember what my speech teacher yelled from the back of the room:

“Get out of the trunk of the car!”

I was confused. A little embarrassed. And honestly… kind of mad.

When I got home, I told my parents, and it instantly became a running family joke. (To this day, if I’m speaking quietly, someone will inevitably say: “Mandy… get out of the trunk of the car.”)

But as annoying as it felt in the moment, he wasn’t totally wrong.

Because what he was really saying was: Stop hiding.

Why “quiet” often feels like a confidence problem at work

If you’re quiet — truly quiet — you probably know exactly what I mean. Not the “I’m thoughtful and prefer listening” kind of quiet. I mean the kind of quiet where you:

• have something to say… and don’t

• wait for the “perfect” moment that never comes

• soften every statement with “maybe,” “I’m not sure,” or “this might be dumb but…”

• let the meeting end and then think of the best point you could’ve made

• feel your heart rate spike when all eyes turn to you

I’m an introvert. I’m not naturally loud. I don’t love being the center of attention.

But I’ve learned this the hard way: being quiet is often less about personality and more about confidence.

And confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have.

Confidence is something you build — which is exactly what most people mean when they’re searching for how to build confidence at work.

How to build confidence at work: the line I come back to

One of my favorite quotes on this subject (from a podcast I love) is:

“Confidence comes from having a point of view.”

Not from being the loudest.

Not from having the most credentials.

Not from never feeling nervous.

From having a perspective you trust enough to share.

So if you want to build confidence at work, especially as someone who’s naturally quiet, here are three practical ways to start.

1) Start with your point of view

Confidence doesn’t start with volume. It starts with clarity.

Before a meeting, a presentation, or even a tricky conversation, ask yourself:

• What do I think?

• What do I want them to understand?

• What do I recommend we do?

Even if you don’t say it out loud yet, write it down.

A point of view gives you something to stand on. And it’s easier to speak up when you’re not searching for words in real time.

If you’re struggling with this, try framing your thoughts like this:

• Here’s what I’m seeing…

• Here’s why it matters…

• Here’s what I’d do…

This is one of the simplest ways to build confidence at work because it turns “I have a vague thought” into “I have something I can say.”

2) Learn something new (and practice failing on purpose)

This is counterintuitive, but it works.

A lot of quietness comes from perfectionism. If you only speak when you’re 100% sure, you won’t speak much.

So build confidence by doing something that requires you to be bad at first.

Learn a new skill. Take on a stretch project. Try something outside your comfort zone.

You will fail at some point — and that’s the point.

Because every time you mess up and survive it, your brain learns:

I can be imperfect and still be okay.

That’s confidence.

Not “I never fail.”

More like: “I can handle it when I do.”

And that’s a huge part of building confidence at work, especially when you’re stepping into

bigger meetings, higher expectations, and more visibility.

3) Take action before you feel ready

Confidence rarely shows up before you do the thing.

It shows up because you did the thing.

So if you’re waiting to feel confident before you speak up, present, lead the meeting, share the idea… you’ll be waiting forever.

Start small:

• ask one question in every meeting

• summarize the decision at the end

• share a perspective early (“Here’s my take…”)

• volunteer to present a small section instead of the whole deck

Then repeat.

You may not get comfortable. You may just get more comfortable being uncomfortable.

And that still counts as building confidence.

Imposter syndrome and confidence overlap (a lot)

If imposter syndrome is part of this for you, you’re not alone — and the tips are connected. I shared a short YouTube video elaborating on the themes in this post: https://youtu.be/VXc2l29iIKk

One last thing: you don’t have to become someone you’re not

“Get out of the trunk of the car” doesn’t mean “become loud.”

It means: don’t hide your thinking.

You can be quiet and still be confident.

You can be introverted and still be influential.

You can be nervous and still speak.

Confidence isn’t a personality trait.

It’s a practice.

So the next time you catch yourself shrinking, hesitating, or waiting for permission… remember:

Get out of the trunk.